Monstrous Thoughts
by Fanpyre
Summary: Edward’s thoughts in Twilight when he found Bella and how he had to fight his inner demons to not drink bella’s blood.His thoughts on the smell of Bella's blood!


Monstrous Thoughts

Monstrous Thoughts

Disclaimer: The following character(s) are fictitious and my gray matter wasn't used to create them. There fore they don't belong to me any way or form and are the works of the gray matter in Stephenie Meyer's brain! Yay!!

Summary: Edward's thoughts in Twilight when he found Bella. One shot. Read and Review plz.

"_Edward,"_ my Angel called her voice stricken with pain.

"Yes I'm here" I replied in my soothing voice, although my voice a little strained, I hadn't had the chance to go hunting and I was thirsty and the scent of my bleeding Angel's blood wasn't helping either.

"_I hurts"_ she whimpered like a helpless puppy.

I soothed her telling her that I knew it hurt I asked Carlisle worried, _"Can't you do anything?" _

He asked Alice to bring him his bag. I had never felt more grateful than ever for the fact that Carlisle carried his medical bag around with him.

Then I heard the most horrific sound ever. Bella's blood curdling screams echoed through the hollow me and I figured out that James- a growl surfacing as I said the name- had bitten my love. Bella screamed again asking me to put out the fire, from somewhere behind me I heard Alice asking me to do it. To change her. No I couldn't damn her into my soulless life. She had a shot at heaven I didn't. While I was contemplating this I was repeating "no no no".

"_See if you can suck the venom back out, the wound is fairly clean" _

Could I do that? What if I couldn't stop, what if I kept drinking from her. "NO", screamed the rational part of my brain, "No Carlisle and Alice will pull me from her".

"But what if you fight them off" said my cold dead thudding heart.

"Yes that wouldn't be so bad now would it, you'd get the taste the blood that you'd been abstaining from all this time"

"No," screamed the rational the non monster part of my brain. "You won't do that, you love her and the power of your love for her is much stronger that the thirst you have for her blood."

"Are you sure that's what you want Edward, think about it, you can savor the wonderful sweet tasting blood of her." Said my inner demon in a soft but dangerous voice. The voice that screamed inside me to hunt down mountain lions when I went hunting.

"No Edward her blood…

"Is wonderful and sweet, remember the smell that intoxicated you the first time you met her, how you thought of a hundred different ways to lure her out of class so you could taste it." Said the monster inside my head

"NO NO NO NO! Edward you love her you can't do that, do you want the only chance at real happiness to die?" screamed the rational part of my brain.

"Edward, she wouldn't mind if she died by your hand, to her that would be heaven, she wouldn't care, and looking at the circumstances no one would dare blame you afterwards, you can do this Edward, I'll help you through this please don't deny her yummy blood" Said the devil himself.

"_Carlisle, I…"_ I hesitated not sure if my inner my monster would let me make my angel better.

"_It's your decision Edward, either way. I can't help you. I have to get this bleeding stopped if you're going to be taking blood from her hand." _Said my father.

"_Edward!"_ Screamed the beauty sprawled across the cold floor soaking in her own blood. She found my face and the pain in her eyes was unbearable. I wouldn't let that be, no if I could do something then I would.

I looked into her big brown doe like eyes and griped her hand. I took a deep breath and looked at her and put my cool hand on her warm hand.

"Savor the taste". screamed my inner monster.

"No he won't". Said the rational me.

I drank from her never once getting the thought of saving her out of my head, afraid that if I thought about the blood that I was drinking, I'd start enjoying it and never stop. I then began to taste the morphine and took one last drink to make sure that all the venom was gone. I was gone and I drew back.

"_Is it all out?"_ asked my father.

"_Her blood tastes clean,"_ I said quietly but somewhat triumphantly. _"I can taste the morphine"_

I did it. I saved the woman I loved. I didn't once want to keep drinking from her, my love for her, and the thought of saving her overpowered everything else, even the scent of her blood.

I hope you enjoyed that and please leave a review.

All the dialogue in Italics is taken straight from the book, from pages 454 and onward.


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